Why Everyone Needs Some Counseling
Finding a good counselor itself is a task. So look for some online, find someone with good references, and go for it
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Whenever we are in a dilemma, we realize that having a conversation with a complete stranger helps us clear out our thoughts and help us reach a decision. Whether it's personal, professional or financial, seeking help of a neutral expert helps. For example, when we want to invest in mutual funds, we seek the expertise of a financial consultant. When we need medical attention, we seek a doctor's consult. When we want to manage our health without medicines, we seek the consults of nutrition and exercise experts. So what do we do, when we need emotional or mind consults? We need to go to a certified counselor.
A counselor is the neutral ground expert who can, via mind tools, conversations and sessions, help us arrive at our own decisions, just like experts in other fields do. Very often, when we feel overwhelmed or at crossroads, we need to share our fears, insecurities and apprehensions with someone who has no background about us and hence, is not judgmental about what we think. Offloading to near and dear ones always compromises the conversation, as our loved ones are trying to protect us, sometimes when we don't even need the protection. In other cases, they may be trying to protect their own interests and hence try and influence our decision. A counselor has no interest in influencing you, and can aid you in arriving at some realisations, which will help you move forward in life, rather than stay stuck in a rut.
So when should you seek the help of a counselor? Here are a few scenarios:
You're overwhelmed all the time. Why does your team keep asking you the same questions? Why can't your son/daughter stop calling you for once? Why doesn't your spouse understand that you need me-time? Why is your boss just so insensitive? If you're feeling overwhelmed by everyone and everything around you for no logical reason, you need to offload to a counselor before having an emotional outburst or breakdown that could damage your personal or professional life.
You just don't feel like it. Nothing. Just nothing motivates you. You want to lie in bed, read a book, eat yourself to death, knowing fully well that you could lose your job, gain 10 kilos, become a vegetable. You don't care. Every morning you push yourself, but deep inside, you just couldn't care if everything fell apart.
You're crabby as hell. Snapping at people, getting upset with little things, feeling frustrated with situations that can easily be overcome with planning and logic, are all signs that you're heading for an emotional breakdown. You need to pour your heart out and then step back and see yourself in a neutral light.
You're overdoing food/liquor. This is a sure shot sign of filling a void with food and alcohol abuse. Having one helping too many, overdoing the sweets, the extra drinks are all signs of emotional overload. This makes the situation worse as you're also inviting a serious lifestyle disease because of the habits you're inculcating. Self-discipline and restraint will re-emerge when the emotional balance finds a place instead of the emotional turbulence.
Finding a good counselor itself is a task. So look for some online, find someone with good references, and go for it. And always remember, when you're seeking counseling, your aim is to find that peace which is inside you, which is always more important than earning money. At the risk of sounding philosophical, I will end off by quoting the genius of romantic poetry, Gulzar: "Thoda sukoon bhi dhoondiye janaab. Ye zarooratein to kabi khatam hi nahi hongi." (Go find some peace, my friend. These material needs don't have an end).
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