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The Opposite Of Love Is Fear Or Contraction Or Withdrawing: Srija Chatterjee Publicis MD
"When we stay present as leaders we keep giving. When we get fearful of peoples' response and we step back, there is no giving," said Srija Chatterjee
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At an engaging session at WEF, Avital Miller, author, healing happens, Srija Chatterjee, MD Publicis and Leigh Anne Sharland, transformative coach spoke about love and leadership.
Leadership can come in a lot of ways, it can come from the front of the room or from the back. It can come from people in the room or outside the room, silently supporting the processing, praying and holding the space.
What is import in both love and leadership is staying present, according to Avital Miller.
Drawing on her experiences as a manager and as a patient dealing with health challenges, Avital noticed a common thread between ways to heal.
“It’s all about the interchange of energy at work or love. We should let people be who they are and love them as they are. Love exists always, you just have to consciously tune into it and determine where are you going to be in the cycle of it. We are all connected. Everyone is part of that whole and we should love people till they learn to love themselves. When someone is cutting you off. Love unconditionally but don’t take abuse. Send them love all the same. Love exists no matter what and no matter which sphere of life-love or leadership."
She highlights that, “The opposite of love is fear or contraction or withdrawing. When we stay present as leaders we keep giving. When we get fearful of peoples' response and we step back, there is no giving. Find your reason to live. When we love we are living our purpose. When we withdraw we are often forgetting our reason to live and often gives people health issues.”
As a leader or lover, you are a giver or receiver of love. When you contract and withdraw, you are neither.
She recommends 3 ways to work with love.
- Sharing love no matter what
- Giving even when we are fearful
Srija Chatterjee MD Publicis, a 450 people strong advertising agency, has managed a reasonable work-life balance, married for 17 years and mother of a 15-year-old.
She believes that, “The tussle begins many times when the more you grow in your professional life you become cocky at home and start to believe that home is below me.”
Through her personal and professional experience, she has learned that the traits of a good leader are very similar to the ones required for having a successful relationship.”
Srija stresses on:
- Empathy- It is very important that we see and acknowledge where people are coming from, peer superior or partner or child. That is the only time true solutions emerge.
- Emotional vulnerability allows us to share larger perspectives on options, whereby innovation is facilitated at both home and work
- Patience –It is imperative to be patient as not all employees or peers are of equal caliber. Some need more handholding and coaching, hence it is important to make an investment to make person excel. Similar works in relationships
- Perseverance and not giving up despite performance. Understand what brings them down maybe something at home and understand what they were not taught in terms of dealing with issues
- Innovate- Don’t let old stuff carry on. Acknowledge the need to re-energise. Set audacious targets. Even in your personal life don’t get into a rut, find new ways of dealing with situations
- Listening- Lend an ear as a leader and as a participant in relationships. Everyone has a bad day, so give them space and don’t shove your solution
Leigh Anne Sharland, Transformative Coach
At a very low point in her life, Leigh Anne started a journey of self-discovery. She overcame adversity and inspires people today.
“In both the personal and professional arena people want to know who I am being. I can see their leadership, not management and they see mine. Each person has a leader within. Look inside and see the impact you are having. The stories you are telling, they are just stories you can change meanings. You can be who you want to be.”
Leigh Anne went on to become a transformative coach and helps people clean up their “environment.”
“Love and leadership are about cleaning up your environment and guiding. Being compassionate and responsible,” she stresses.
“More than anything else, people want to see and be seen. When they are fearful they choose to not show their true self. This is what we need to allow- to show ourselves, see others and allow them to show themselves.”