Suppressed anger makes the love dead
If I am angry and I have surpassed it, then when I am loving the surpassed anger is there and that will make my love dead. If I have not been authentic in my anger, I cannot be authentic in my love.
Western psychologist now say it is better not to avoid fighting in a love relationship, and that facing it when it comes make the love more intense. The question is for those who have not yet transcended into the love that is beyond the two poles, which way is preferable for lovers then?
Firstly, the love of the mind is bound to be a movement between the two polar opposites of hate and love. With mind, duality is bound to be there. So if you are loving to someone with your mind, you cannot escape the other pole. You can hide it, you can surpass it, you can forget about it - the so called cultured are always doing that. But then they become numb, dead.
If you cannot fight with your lover, if you cannot be angry, then the authenticity of the love is lost. If you suppress your anger, that surpassed anger will become a part of you, and that surpassed anger will now allow you total let go while in love. It is always there. You are withholding it, you have suppressed it.
If I am angry and I have surpassed it, then when I am loving the surpassed anger is there and that will make my love dead. If I have not been authentic in my anger, I cannot be authentic in my love. If you are authentic, then you are authentic in both. If you are not authentic in one, you cannot be authentic in the other.
All over the world so called teachings, civilisations, culture, they have deadened love completely. And in the name of love this has happened. The say, if you love someone, then don't be angry, your love is false if you are angry. They do not fight, they do not hate.
Of course, it looks logical. If you are in love, how can you hate? So we cut off the hate part. But with the hate part cut off, the love becomes important. It is as if you have cut off one leg of a man and then you say, now you move, now you can run, you are free to run. But you have cut off a leg, so that a man cannot move.
Hate and Love are two poles of the one phenomenon. If you cut hate, love will be dead and impotent. That is why every family has become impotent. And then you become afraid of letting go. When you are in Love you cannot let go completely because you are afraid. If you let go completely the anger, the violence, the hate that is hidden and supposed may come out. Then you have to force it down continuously. Deep down you have to fight it continuously. And in fighting it you cannot be natural and spontaneous. Then you just pose that you are loving. You pretend, and everyone knows, you wife knows that you are pretending, and you know that your wife is pretending. Everyone is pretending. Then the whole life becomes false.