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Shivjeet Kullar

The author is a legendary ad man who has won over a 100 awards in his career. He is also an author, a novelist a playwright and song writer. Now he has founded the unusual and powerful website which helps power other websites, brands and businesses ahead

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How To Pretend You’re Rich

Here are some ways to pretend and act like you are rich

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I remember some years ago I had to go to Emporio the luxury mall for a series of meetings. There were a few times when I was early so I would walk into one of the shops – Chanel, or Salvatori Whatsisname etc.

And guess what? Nobody cared a damn. I might as well have been a fly on the wall or the invisible man. Not even one salesperson moved one centimeter towards me.

Then someone else would enter – and I daresay much more shabbily dressed than I was and immediately they would move towards them and offer tea and honey.

What the fuaa!
Later one of my friends who used to manage many Emporio brands explained it to me – ‘when you’re super rich, no matter how casually you are dressed one thing gives it away – a 17 lac watch, or a huge solitaire – sales people are trained to smell these things from a mile off.’

Now I am older and wiser, but have met many rich people for fundraising in my start up and have observed this species.

So here are some ways to pretend you are rich. (And here I’m not talking of the 10 crore richers I’m talking about the 100 crore richers).

You’ll need a vague distracted look
Rich people tend not to focus their eyes anywhere. They just look vaguely here and there like they don’t want to or need to be where they are. Practice in front of a mirror before you step out.

Wear bad clothes to the best places
Strange looking pajamas worn to the Platinum class in cinema halls. A crumpled track suit as they turn towards the business class in a plane. Now those are the rich people. If you’re sitting in the coffee shop of a luxury hotel and the waiter asks you – are you staying here – you know you’re dressed shabbily like a rich person.

Holiday like hell, or pretend to
Richies are always on holiday. They back from the Philippines and on their way to London. Then later they will go to specific obscure places like Phakchetupa in Cambodia, or of course Mandalay. Every year when I wish Deep Kalra on his birthday I ask him where he is. Last year it was Cuba, this year Russia.

Don’t wear socks or vests
This is self explanatory. Ritchies will wear $500 loafers and an 80K Boss T Shirt but never a sock or a vest. Guess they haven’t made a 10000 buck vest yet!

Apologise for your diet
Richies are always on some kind of exotic diet. They will be on a high protein or ‘fat bomb’ diet. They will eat fish but not meat or chicken. And of course they will be Vegans or Vergans or Virgins or whatever.

They don’t care about your time
Unfortunately this is a fact. I have spent many hours waiting in a rich person’s living room only to have them come an hour late or not at all. Once I travelled to Bangalore to meet someone and he only gave me 7 minutes.

Whoever said time is money probably meant we have time and they have money!

Poor them!

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rich asians opinion Magazine 15 september 2018

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