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#NotSoProfessional

A Colleague And Teammate Has Recently Revealed Himself As Gay After Abolishing Of Section 377. This Has Led To A Lot Of Gossip Among The Team And Is Often Resulting Into Uncomfortable Situation. It Ends Up Hurting Productivity. How Can I Control?


The person has declared himself as homosexual but doesn’t speak about it much, neither does he do anything unprofessional to make others uncomfortable. But it is the teammates who have taken up this issue as a joke and keeps discussing about it behind his back. How do I control the situation and bring the focus back into work and team spirit?

Betska K-Burr,

First, thank your teammate for courageously coming forward to declare he is gay. Chances are he will be one of the pioneers to greatly support others as they too come forward.
Second, thank all the countries before yours where this type of discrimination has been abolished and greatly reduced. Eventually, gays will be accepted because in an enlightened world we are all equals. God sees us all as equals.
Third, I would speak privately (individually) to those who gossip. The approach could be something like this and you can see that you are asking these gossipers for help: “I have heard that many people are gossiping about the fact that [gay colleague’s name] has courageously come forward to say he is gay. I know for a fact that he is very hurt by the gossip. I have also noticed that because of the negative energy, productivity has fallen. How do you think we can better support him? How can we go back to being a supportive family of workers?” Once they respond, you can share with them your understanding of the Universal Laws of Human Behaviour. The Law of Equality – “In God’s eyes we are just as important as the next person.” Share with them the Law of Karma – “When we judge, we will also be judged.” If they didn’t immediately come up with solutions to the situation, you could gently suggest actions such as treating him like an equal, inviting him to lunch/coffee, inviting him to lead a project, making sure his partner is invited to office events, asking his forgiveness for mistreating him, and so on.
Fourth, as you see changes in treatment and the energy in the office, go back and thank the “gossipers” who have now become compassionate people.
Fifth, as you reflect back on the situation, remember that all of you attracted this situation into your life to learn something. And that ‘something’ is love and compassion for all beings.

Manish Puri, Business Consultant & Coach

Truth is that you can do nothing to control anything. In this case, your absence of participation will to an extent ensure that they don’t talk in front of you, however, this alone may not be the solution. The other half and more important part of the solution is to mind your own business with exemplary FOCUS and single-minded objective. So focused that surroundings don’t matter and your productivity does not suffer. It’s like carrying on sleeping with a band playing next to you!!