5 Ways To Keep Your Calm
It is important to recognise that our temper stems not from the behaviour of others but from how it differs from our illusion of how it should be. Here calmness and equanimity are a superpower
What ruffles your feathers and gets your goat most? What agitates you and steals your calm? Peace of mind, however ephemeral it may be, is what we all are seeking. The biggest way to maintain ones peace of mind is learning to stay calm under all circumstances.
We get upset because people aren’t behaving according to our illusion of how they “ought to” or “should” behave, or circumstances unfold contrary to our fantasy. It is important to recognise that our temper stems not from the behaviour of others but from how it differs from our illusion of how it should be. Here calmness and equanimity are a superpower.
This idea in your head is sadly what most often messes up our relationship. We want people, especially our loved ones to act a certain way. And when they do the opposite of what we want, at some point we overreact. We feel anxiety, anger, depression, frustration and have a copious number of arguments. By inculcating a few of these habits, you might be saved the pain.
A few ways to maintain your calm:
1. Pause and breathe
Easier said than done, but this will save you many a stressful moment. When you react instead of responding the situation gets exacerbated. Pausing, and taking a few deep breaths help you zoom out and get a better view of the landscape you are dealing with.
You cant control others behavior, but you can control yours. In your response lies your power.
Deep breathing, releases stress and helps you combat your fight or flight mode.
This is the best way to maintain your calm.
2. Learn to be compassionate
Everyone is bearing their own cross. When you are interacting with people in a stressful situation, make an intention to leave judgments and expectations at the door. By doing this you are being supportive of the other person, thereby setting the stage for calm to prevail. Compassion is under-rated.
3. Be gracious and ration your words
Be mindful of what comes out of your mouth. Be gracious to the person you are engaging with. Imagine yourself in that situation and how you may have reacted. When you reverse the roles you will feel a calm descend. No one is perfect, you included, so reserve the judgment.
4. Respect other peoples opinions
No two people are alike, so differences will always exist. At times, it is important to agree to disagree and move forward in a relationship. Especially in the important relationships, in your mind, demarcate areas where you will choose to remain neutral and not take an aggressive stance. Over time you will see calm prevail.
5. It’s not about you
When you stop taking things personally, you will be at your happiest, calm and unaffected.
Ones first instinct in a situation that is scripted contrary to our fantasy we make it about ourselves.
We lose our calm, another’s behavior has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with them. So reassess the scenario and “Let it go”!
There is a huge amount of freedom and calm that comes to you when you detach yourself from other people’s beliefs and behaviors.
Tap into your innate superpower of calm and equanimity.